Introduction: Why blog this?

4-17-2010
This was originally written as a book and my former boss from years ago, and Publisher Lynn C. Franklin & Associates who just published Archbishop Desmond Tutu's (www.tutu.org) latest book, "The Difference Goodness Makes," recommended that I start a blog after being so gracious enough to read the first few pages,  so here it is. I'm also working on a version in Spanish called:" Cómo ser madre soltera y no morir en el intento."

SURVIVING SINGLE MOTHERHOOD FOR REAL

10-29-09

INTRO

This is not light reading and is definitely not for the weak of heart.

A month ago, my son turned a year old and I couldn’t believe how fast a year went by. I thought to myself that it probably went by so fast because I spent so much of it just surviving and getting through it day by day. So there is one reason why I decided to write this book: Nadya Suleman.  Now that I am a proud survivor of single motherhood I could not bear to see Nadya give single Moms a bad rap, I mean aside from the fact that she lives in California and I have now lived in Los Angeles for eight years, I could not allow Nadya’s dysfunctional and money greedy ways to destroy the average single mother who is about one out of 13million single PARENTS not Mothers, of over 304 million Americans living in the US of course pending the 2010 US Census. This single Mom who goes about her hard life quietly does not abuse the taxpayers money and definitely has not contributed to California supposedly being broke. This brings up my second reason to write is: Ann Coulter, will someone please go down on her for about 10 years and relieve some of that hard-ass misinformed Republican B.S.

Every single mother out there, I’m sure has an interesting story as to why they are the horribly stereotyped “single-mom,” and by Mom mean single mother. I’m aware there are many single fathers out there, but I’m confident that there are more single mothers than there are fathers. So this book is not really meant for the average single parent who is looking to commiserate with other single parents’ experiences out there. This is also not a book targeted at divorcees or parents who have recently separated and have children. This is for all those young and old women who were brave enough to have a baby when they found out their “man” was not going to be responsible enough or was just simply put: “a loser” this is a term I highly dislike, but as the anger has increased in my life I’ve grown to like the word as it mainly simplifies trying to describe the absence, irresponsibility, egotistic, drama king and unavailability of the biological father of your precious child. No matter how many times, they tell you they will be there, they just run for the hills when the baby arrives. This is not a book used as a venting pad at “bad” men, or absentee parents, no, this is a practical solution to a common problem or at least another option for those who want some help.

My hopes are that this book at the very least will get a good laugh out of some women struggling out there who have seriously been sleep deprived not for hours but for consecutive days, and not because their husband or enabler has been gone on a 4-day business trip or 10day shoot or a 2 months reality shoot in a foreign country (possibly having an affair or a one night stand,) and has no one to count on and no two pair of extra hands to turn for help. For all those women who work full-time and spend all their monies on some bad child care place and scrape together their pennies to get food and who are not eligible somehow for welfare or free childcare. This book is not dedicated to all those competitive soccer moms who pretend they have it all together and go through so much trouble and expense at keeping up appearances, - dieting and trying to weigh 105lbs a month after having a 12lbs baby, who look down upon single mothers and make us feel like the little whores-home wreckers of the neighborhood, building, community, society etc… For those women I wish them well, and hope that one day if this books does really well I will be able to pay for some therapy for when their big perfect balloon bursts in their well make-up-ed faces.

This book is a surviving tool, this is a book I wish my mother had written for me, this is a book I wish my grandmother had bequest me, this is a book that I was hoping I’d get at the baby shower or at the baptism, and even then, I’m sure there are many points I will forget to include but none the less I hope to include everything I’ve learned mostly the hard way about being a single working parent and hope that it will at the very least be helpful to another mother out there who is at the end of her rope and about to drown her child in the bathtub, or wants to drive-off the side of the road, or wants to buy a one way ticket to some exotic island and change her name, this is for the woman who cries for no reason in the middle of the day, this is for the bipolar maniac depressive woman who was dumped by all her boyfriends one after another because they could not handle her “temper tantrums” and her “psychotic ways” her “bad days”  and her “really ugly days.”

This is for the women who do not have the time nor motivation or encouragement to get back in shape after having the baby, who do not get out on the town anymore, who think no man will ever sleep with them when they look at themselves naked in the mirror. This is for all the women out there who have not showered in over four days, this is for all the women who are used to the smell of their armpits and can’t tell when was the last time they applied deodorant. This is for the woman who forgets to eat who tries to do it all herself and is deep down an overachiever and Type-A personality, who does not delegate simple things to a friend or family member or even boyfriend because she firmly believes that no one will do the job exactly how she wants it- perfectly done for her child.

This book is not for the weak of heart, this book will not always speak favorably of supposed friends and family mentioned throughout the book, so if you are related to me, here is the LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I will claim temporary insanity should you choose to suit me over something I divulge in this book that you disagree with or find a form of slander, as it is not my intention to damage others reputation it is simply my desire to express all this ANGER, HURT and SHOCK that I’m going through. So if you like warm fuzzy stories this is not one, if you were a fan of the Dave Chappelle Show and like Larry David’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” then chances are you will  like this book.

If anything this book will serve as comedic therapy for women like myself who do not have the time like they use to to sit in a therapist office and talk about how hard their single selfish life is. This book will hopefully replace all the single mother hood survival guide type books that I purchase on Amazon once I realized I need some help figuring this whole thing out, that were a waste of my valuable time and hard earned money, the only book I ever really enjoyed was Jenny McCarthy’s “Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth”  I actually gave my personal copy to a pregnant friend who was expecting around the same time as I and I recommended it to the moms-to-be that I knew would get the book and not be offended.   This book will come across as being resentful and Angry that is just part of my personality and the lifestyle that you could say I’ve chosen so please do not take any of this personally just LAUGH and keep moving FORWARD.