The scary word: DEPRESSION, let's face it and not deny it.

Dear Single Mommies:

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and did not let the family stress you out too much or all the holiday preparations and expectations leave you like a flat tire by the side of the road, cause I know how that feels. Mainly, let's take this time of the year to start cleaning out the bad past and getting rid of those comfy issues and things/clutter in our life and move beyond them, some of which could have led us to becoming single parents, no judgement there, just bare with me hear I'm doing some self analysis that might prove to be beneficial or at least amusing at the very least.
I always dreaded Christmas and New Year's I did look forward to what outfit I would wear and how drunk I would get, but now after having Charles, I look forward to it more than ever, and I go all out to make it as special and magical as I possible can for him and to watch him enjoy it and marvel over all the Christmas lights and decoration and houses that look so pretty in the starry night gives me so much joy. However, I have battled with depression since I was about 10 years old, when I left a note on my Dad's study floor saying that I was going to jump off the top balcony of the Municipal Hall in the small town where we lived in Spain. And this entry or chapter of my blog is dedicated to all those women who also happen to be single moms who are perhaps experiencing depression for the first time after becoming a mom for the first time or have fought it on and off like a bad rash that just flares up when you least expect it and you are embarrassed to share it even with your Doctor or to talk about it with your own Mom or best friend out of fear that they will call you crazy and make you check into Bellevue Hospital or some 1920's psychiatric ward. This is to let you know that I'm going through it again now and with a two year son who demands so much attention and energy and play time it's even more scary to admit that it has come back to haunt me, and I'm trying my best to stay above water and not drown in the deep silent darkness. It's times like this when I want to hide from the world and just sleep, sleep and hope that the whole world and my life disappears for a while and hope that when I wake up everything will be fine again and under control and I would have found an answer to all my problems and issues and things bothering me and shortcomings in myself and in others that I cannot change. Whatever you do please do not let a few innocent glasses of red wine turn into a whole bottle of tequila or Absolut vodka followed by two packs of cigarettes, it's not worth it, you cannot self-medicate, it does not work, I've tried it and know many people who have and still try to and it simply does not work. Find someone who can really help and provide you with the support you need both mentally and physically, because the mental does affect the physical and a Doctor who knows what he/she is doing and better explain to you why.
HELP IS ON IT'S WAY:
In spite of so many ridiculous budget cuts, and 800 #s that give info that is outdated or doesn't work for you, please do not give up after the first or even third phone call, think about your child's life and then think about your child's life without you and then think about all those places where you haven't been and always wanted to see before you die and things that you wanted to do but couldn't afford to, think about Billionaire Trump knocking on your door saying that he has a big check for you and a handsome man who is prepared to give you the best massage of your life including a HAPPY ENDING, if you know what I mean. Please dear Single Moms there are many places that you can turn to at least in Los Angeles, I mean afterall we are responsible for the suicides of so many wonderful artists such as Marilyn Monroe and Brittany Murphy just to mention two of thousands let alone all the"rejected nobodies" that Hollywood spat on. I know what you are saying what if I don't have MEdical or any insurance and it's true most want to see your health insurance card before you slit your wrists or know what your income was this month before you swallow another sleeping pill. The point being is that get the help you need, even if you don't think it is that bad, the last thing you want to do is hurt yourself again or your child for the first time and make it be a lifelong lasting wound. Also study your illness it might not just be depression, it could be severe suicidal depression and or a mixture of that plus bi-polar disorder, so you never know until you get professional help and even then the help might not be what you expected but just like you have to be patient with your baby, be patient with them while they find the right medication and treatment to help you, but also don't let them take advantage of you either educate yourself on the drugs they prescribe and consider the side effects and how addicting some of these medications are, but know that if it improves your ability to function that day, you might consider it for a while so you can have a somewhat functional life not necessarily perfect, but somewhat normal.
And if you are feeling suicidal here are a few points you should follow: and remember feeling suicidal is temporary, suicide is permanent, so do your best to keep those thoughts out of your mind or get help immediately. And just take everyday at a time, I know it's hard, but just put one step in front of the next, and don't be ashamed I mean most of this city we live in has some kind of disorder and don't get me started on NYC...


Discover how DBSA has impacted the lives of individuals living with mood disorders.

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Coping with a Crisis

If you need immediate help or if you are having thoughts of death or suicide, call1-800-273-TALK or if you need immediate assistance call 911
or go to a hospital emergency room.

What if I am feeling suicidal?

Remember:

Suicidal thoughts are temporary. Suicide is permanent. Don’t give in to suicidal thoughts— you can overcome them.
Your feelings of hopelessness are not the truth. When you feel this way, it’s your illness talking— your mind is lying to you. Remind yourself that suicidal thoughts are not reality.
If you are thinking of suicide, it is important to recognize these thoughts for what they are: expressions of a treatable medical illness. They are not true and they are not your fault. Don’t let fear, shame or embarrassment stand in the way of communication with your physician, therapist, family, or friends; tell someone right away.
Tell a trusted family member, friend, or other support person, someone you can talk with honestly. Try not to be alone when you feel this way. This may mean sitting quietly with a family member or friend, going to a support group or going to a hospital.
Get help. Tell your health care professional. Suicidal thinking can be treated. When suicidal thoughts occur, they are your signal that, more than ever, you need help from a professional.
Know that you can get through this. Promise yourself you will hold on for another day, hour, minute, or whatever you can manage.
If you are feeling "out of control", it's important to seek help immediately---even if you are not having suicidal thoughts.

How can I be prepared for a crisis?

Often, crises happen without warning, and the best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to make a crisis-plan list for yourself, a friend, or a family member. This list should be shared with everyone you choose. Briefly describe the kind of help you (or your loved one) would like to receive if you have severe depressive or manic symptoms.
Include:

Doctor(s)’ name(s) and contact information
Contact information of support group and other trusted friends/family members
Other health problems and medications
Allergies to/intolerance of any medication
Insurance or Medicaid information and preferred treatment facilities
Things that might trigger an episode, such as life events, travel, physical illness or work stress
Warning signs such as talking very fast, paranoia, lack of sleep, slowed down movement, excessive alcohol or drug use
Things people can say that are calming and reassuring
Things people should do in crisis such as take away car keys and lock up anything dangerous such as weapons and medications
Things emergency staff can do, such as explain things, talk slowly, observe personal space, or write things
Reasons life is worthwhile and recovery is important

How should I talk to a person in crisis?

Stay calm. Talk slowly and use reassuring tones.
Realize you may have trouble communicating with your loved one. Ask simple questions. Repeat them if necessary, using the same words each time.
Don’t take your loved one’s actions or hurtful words personally.
Say, “I’m here. I care. I want to help. How can I help you?”
Don’t say, “Snap out of it,” “Get over it,” or “Stop acting crazy.”
Don’t handle the crisis alone. Call family, friends, neighbors, people from your place of worship or people from a local support group to help you.
Don’t threaten to call 911 unless you intend to. When you call 911, police and/or an ambulance are likely to come to your house. This may make your loved one more upset, so use 911 only when you or someone else is in immediate danger.