Chapter 21: Avoid isolating yourself

CHAPTER 21:

AVOID ISOLATING YOURSELF:  I know easier said, than done.

As tempting as it is to stay in or hide out from the world, you must face the music. At least for your child’s sake get out there and meet other parents, even if most of them are miserably married or ecstatically happy couples, you need to provide a healthy socializing environment for your child. But more importantly you need to get out there and tell yourself that you are doing great, that you are attractive and will eventually, when you are ready for it, meet someone who will treat you much better and make a good father for your child. My point is that you cannot loose HOPE, mainly for your own sanity. It’s good to get laid, too, don’t be your own cock blocker, there will be enough factors in the equation working on that end and making it more difficult just as it is so you will need as much motivation as you can get to get back in the saddle. Believe me, people will be so surprised to see how healthy and happy you look when you play with your son at these events they will even be envious because you are free, free from power relationships that are based on someone being the paycheck to the other person or someone claiming they have: “No Life” because they went and had a kid or two, please cry me a river, just remember to be grateful at those moments, cause even though you never imagined it, it could be a lot worse. 

Single mom's are not a huge liability, don't believe that most men run for the hills when the see a Single Mom, I'm proof of that fact that you can still pick-up a guy at the grocery check-out or getting your roasted chicken at your local rotisserie,cause I've had it happen to me, they start commenting on how cute your baby is and before you know it they have scanned in your ringless left hand. I mean women are not the only ones who check, even though whenever I wear a ring on my wedding finger, because my fingers are still swollen or bigger than they were prior to baby Charles, and it's the only one it fits on on both hands as with the pinky I've lost soo many rings already and let's not talk about earrings without the stopper, and these women always say, Oh My! You are engaged! Congratulations! Or well I see an engagement ring! And I'm like no, it's just a ring I thought was pretty at the time and bought for myself, and all of a sudden the light in their face, in an attempt to say: Finally I can have you over for dinner like a "normal couple"- just vanishes into thin air... And I just say with a smile: Sorry!

Anyway, my point is there are many websites where you can meet other people, my poor Mom just sent me a Magazine a few months old from North Carolina that had Jamie Pressly on the cover as a single Mom, who really isn't a single Mom because as it turns-out the father of her son is present in his life and will according to her drop everything to come be with his son if she needs him to, that I regret to say is not my case and I believe the case of most single Moms across America and in the rest of the world. But it just goes to show what people will do to sell a book that is not about surviving single motherhood but more about bragging about their wonderful career and all the crazy things they did to get there. Apparently she divorced her parents at age 15??!?! in order to go to Hollywood.. anyway, I think the best thing about the book is probably the title: "It's Not Necessarily Not the Truth" I think this is bad English, but a true statement overall. I mean let's face it she looks like a younger more improved version of Pamela Anderson, and she is blonde, that's what the requirements are in Hollywood! hello! But I'm not knocking her, she does seem nice.

I wouldn't recommend any of the single parent websites, just because I've actually seen what's there and it's pretty depressing you are probably better off going on Jew Date or Single Catholics.... ya right! I think the best thing is just to get out there. 

The past month I had a lot of GEMINIS birthdays to celebrate. Needless to say the father of my child is a CRAZY Gemini, June 5th, yes, that was why I went out and celebrated this weekend and had some drinks with a girlfriend and then bumped into an ex-boyfriend of mine who had a STD and never told me about it, with a woman that look as old as his mother if not older and he is about 40 now. The same night my "older" sister who works at RiteAid in the pharmacy and is privy to all the celebs meds, rings up Jordi Molla and mentions to him how he knows me, and gives him my name, which of course is unforgettable as it is so difficult to spell, God help my son in a few years... and tells Jordi that I have a script for him that I want him to read. Luckily I didn't pick-up her message until after I had two or three stiff martinis, but then found myself calling Jordi's home number at midnight apologizing and explaining to him why my sister did that, of course before I could finish his machine beeped and I felt like a total idiot. Next day I called my sister and asked her exactly what she said and she repeated what had happened, and I couldn't but help think that my sex-addicted Super Scorpio sister, was flirting with Jordi trying to get him to maybe take a look at her headshot, I mean she even told me in her message that he complimented her on how good her Spanish was, which is what he told me about my catalan when I was introduced to him because he was looking for commercial representation as a director. So again I found myself trying to explain to someone who doesn't know how this industry works how much they hate hearing that, and how now this could eventually keep him from maybe one day reading my script and considering being the lead on the one that is in development and seeking government funding in Spain as I write this. It's all about timing in this biz and I hate when people open their mouth and speak out of term. I told her even though she wasn't listening to not say anything next time, as they really resent that even though they don't show it for fear that a paparazzi will pop out of the store and catch them having a temper tantrum or being mean to a fan, blablabla.... so who knows if I will ever speak to Jordi Molla again and how awkward it will be, regardless he is a good person, and is an incredible painter and photographer, he also has a pretty bad agent, cause he is such a good actor that it sucks how he hasn't won any awards for such performances as " la segunda piel" where he plays Javier Bardem's homosexual lover and leaves his hot Arianda Gil wife for him or in " La buena estrella" with Maribel Verdú or in Bigas Luna: "Son de mar" with Eleonor Watling, another undiscovered talent from Spain, just to mention a few. Instead they have him in The Alamo and Blow and doing the same stereotype drug lord films.... Jordi Molla even directed a film where he plays Jesus Christ which few people know about and it was actually really good, that is the concept was hilarious about a Reality TV show host who goes crazy and how his audience ends up believing it is all true... and this was before the whole Reality TV show trend came into play -like 6 years ago.  Jordi has even seen pictures of my son and has said how cute he is.

But my point with this digression is that my ex- JP a former immigration lawyer whom I came very close to marrying about 5 years ago right around the time I met the father of my child whom I got involved with on a rebound- DANGEROUS!- but was incredibly affectionate and that was what I needed. He although, he skillfully avoided me, and then I called him as I had been thinking about him ironically that same day when I went to play Polo, as he turned me on to riding actually, I always hated the idea of riding another living creature against its will, when he finally called me back the next day around noon, and didn't leave a message and then I called him back, said that I look "linda" and he said it about four times in our conversation and he also complimented me on my son, whom he had somehow seen in photos possibly on facebook, but he said I had made a very handsome son and that whomever I had chosen must have been very goodl ooking and I felt like interjecting and saying it was me who my son took after when it comes to his cute face, but I just kept quiet as I have finally learned how to read a compliment from someone who is even more insecure than myself. So ladies, single Mom, beautiful ladies in red, just get out there and you'll see how men will flock to you, just don't be expecting it, just be your light, young happy self and like me when I was ordering my drink at Bar Marmont waiting for my son's unofficial godmother to arrive to celebrate yet another Geminis in my life whom I LOVE and ADORE and will be forever grateful to, yes while waiting for her and ordering my drink with a male bartender who was cross-eyed and giving me a hard time about mispronouncing my favorite vodka, VEEV, he even corrected me?!?!? and those are $14 cocktails that I love that his women bartender made so deliciously, the guy sitting next to me at the bar with another friend turned around and said what kind of drink was I ordering and asked very politely what it had and what kind of Vodka was it, and I pulled out my iphone and should him on facebook how environmentally friendly the company is that donates a dollar from each bottle sold to the Rain Forest in Brazil and how it is made from Acai berries which are antioxidants and the best thing is that it does not give you a headache the next morning and I can have at least 5 of those. I also gave him a recipe for another cocktail and he saw I was really nice until Laura arrived and I started bitching about how hard life had been ever since she left me and Charles to go work with Russell Crowe in NYC for several months, BOOH! so there you go, put yourself out there and control yourself and you will find someone that you can at least have some fun with and make you feel special again and attractive and sexy!