Chapter 11: It's O.K. to be on Meds and get HELP when you need it.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Don't be AFRAID, EMBARRASSED OR ASHAMED TO GET HELP. It's hard as a strong independent woman to get help, it's hard as a full-time working Mom to get the help you so badly need to keep going and moving forward, but if you don't you will be of no use and much less to your baby.

FIND AN EMOTIONAL VENUE that is OFF LIMITS to people who know you, just like AA, go to meetings, were you will meet people who understand and comfort you, preferably away from the perfect soccer Mom’s  who might come across as judgmental or even the single Mom’s who think they have it together. I’m talking about getting your ass to Church if need be, finding a female Pastor who can listen to you at no cost and who will be able to give you the emotional and spiritual support you need. This I recommend as a way to vent that is not costing you $175 an hour in a broken down leather chair in Beverly Hills listening to some shrink tell you over and over again: “… and how did that make you feel,?, and how did that make you feel?”  And all you want to do is scream at them: “how do you think you idiot?!?! Why do you think I’m here?”  Anger and frustration is best invested in community service or getting out there and looking for GOD to keep you out of trouble. It doesn't have to be religion, I'm no bible-belter, I just find that when my strength is being tested God has always provided me with more strength and guidance.

LET ME BE CLEAR, I think seeing a shrink is a GOOD thing, what I don’t think is good these days is how quickly they put people even young kids on prescribed medication, sedatives, what I call body and mind numb-ers. Actually, I think that prescribed medication is the #1 killer of TOP TALENT these days and of our youth. However, medication has clearly helped many people I know and it has not only made their lives better but all the people who surround them as well.

Bottomline si that there are not many free groups out there and there are really no single mom hotlines or support meetings that are specifically targeted at single career moms.  I researched this in my area there was a Jewish Women's Group, but they did not specialize in Single Moms. And it is really shocking, very sad and embarrassing that we don’t have this available nowadays- where single moms are more and more common and keep going up in numbers- many who choose to be single moms.

MY PROMISE TO YOU:

So I promise that when I hit the lottery or if this blog/book ever gets sold for some money I will open a shelter/center where single moms can come and drop-off their babies while they get the help they need, we will even have free manis & pedis and massages, we will have a career counseling center and most definitely a HOTLINE. That poor young Mom Casey Anthony in Florida who apparently killed her 2-year old daughter, (and my son is going through the terrible twos already and he is not even 20 months yet- I know how it can get) she could have really benefited from a hotline, it seems like her own family and community drove her away, and that the pressure to keep it all together grew to be too much and she didn’t want to let people down, but could not really see her daughter right there in front of her face, nor her daughter’s needs or precious life. And WHERE WAS THE FATHER?? Ya, well it’s always convenient to blame it on the mother, but let me tell you, that little girl’s blood is on the Dad’s hands just as much as the mother’s.

Even if you are bipolar or maniac depressive, simply paranoid or whatever some psychiatrist diagnosed you with, you have the right to be treated like a “normal” human being with dignity and self-respect and when things get a little harder and more challenging some of us have a lower level of tolerance so we need some extra help to just take a step back and BREATHE and just let the situation AIR OUT a little and then come back to it with a fresh and clear mind. We are the stronger of the sexes, even if you single moms had the perfect husband, partner, life companion, toyboy, whatever you want to call the guy with a dick, he will still have his shortcomings and he will still fail at some point in fulfilling his responsibilities, yes! No one is perfect and much less men who have 0 tolerancy for pain, I mean I’d like to see them getting their pubic hair waxed or even lasered off….. so you just have to put a smile on and DEAL with it and not blame or harm the child. Help is always available, you just need to call someone, and if you really have no one to call who will listen or be of any comfort, then by all means call or email me. I’m here and I don’t want to loose another single Mom to jail, it is not a pretty place and it is not worth you giving up your life cause some guy decided he was going to dump you after you had his baby and he said he was going to take care of you and the baby.