Chapter 9: PUT THAT BABY DOWN & WALK AWAY!

CHAPTER NINE:

PUT THAT BABY DOWN.

For the feisty, sleep fighter, till-death -do -us-part baby. I'm not joking now...this is my son, he is always keeping on eye open checking if you are still there and making sure people are not going to jump out of the bushes and from behind the furniture and the horrible mess you got going on in your home, to bust out and have a big PARTEEE, he's going to miss all or a sudden cause he actually obeys you and goes to sleep.

How to rock your baby to sleep without your arms FALLING  OFF.  Bad news your arms are still going to feel like they are going to fall-off, the GOOD NEWS is that your baby will probably go to sleep faster.   Stuff him or her to full capacity, give them an 8oz bottle of whole milk mixed with Pediasure and mixed baby cereal, most people use rice cereal, but this one is a little heavier.  Find some nice soothing music that your baby likes and that is not going to drive you mad after hearing it 200, 400, 1000 times, put him/her in the crib and walk-out.

FOR ALL THOSE SINGLE MOMS WHO LIVE IN A ONE BEDROOM SET-UP, YA ONE BEDROOM, you need to find away to put up a block, or some type of curtain so that he/she cannot see you, and if he’s a smart baby, like mine, not to brag, but it’s simply true, you might have to sleep in whichever other room you have i.e. living room or bathroom and set-up a sleeping bag or sleep on the sofa. Let him her cry, they will eventually learn that it is time to go to sleep and then let you do what you have to or better just unwind and SLEEP. YOU MUST GET YOUR SLEEP, Learn from one sleepless MOM, who’s best friend constantly wanted to shoot her up with an elephant tranquilizer and valerian root.

I know for most Mom’s hearing your baby cry literally makes you SICK and HURTS you, trust me it drives me INSANE, especially when I’m driving, so I strongly suggest particularly for those women who have an extremely stressful life that you find a way to just tune-out or else you will never get any rest.

One of the most stressful times in spite of all my financial mess, was when I was told that my son was anemic, this was right before the holidays- one of THE MOST EMOTIONAL TIMES of THE YEAR, and you always eat unhealthy around the holidays anyway, so I was faced with having to give him iron drops- which are ghastly and spent so much money getting iron supplements that were suitable for a 16 months old baby who barely weighed 22 or 20 lbs. Again, American stats are almost tailored for the obese, no disrespect, so you really need to question everything. I tried it all I became obsessed I even fed him blackstrap molasses in his oatmeal, and one of my friends came over and cooked an amazing typical Spanish lentil soup- sopa de lentejas, but he still refused it, then one day I gave him some dark chocolate dipped strawberries that my friend Pilar brought over for Valentine’s Day- yet another emotionally charged day if you are single- and he LOVED the chocolate, well other than sugar chocolate also has iron, so I guess I was happy to see some iron was going back into his body. So as to not ruin their teeth, not that you will at that age, cause those same teeth will all fall out anyway, I recommend dark chocolate that is semi-sweet, the less sugar the better, and the darker and more concentrated % of pure cocoa the better obviously.

And lastly for those MOMS who want to hurt their baby in a rage of anger or outburst of exhaustion, PUT THE BABY DOWN IN THE CRIB, AND WALK-AWAY, I mean literally step way from him/her. Remember no matter how mad you are that the dad, world, your job, your boss, people, traffic, just like and how much it sucks at that moment, etc… remember theses babies are NOT TO BLAME for your DECISION to bring them into the world so, don’t get mad at them and take it out on them, JUST DO YOUR BEST TO WALK AWAY, and then have a LARGE GLASS OF WINE or a beer or just take a walk around the house or turn-up the music, and PRAY that your baby will stop crying soon and go to sleep from exhaustion too. You know who you are, and you are NOT ALONE, more women than you expect have done this before and will never admit to it, I know my own Mom did it repeatedly to my older sister and to all of us at some point- due to her own frustrations in life and with her career, but also do to being so overwhelmed with FIVE kids and a bunch of dogs and animals, anyone would loose it at least once a month, but it still does not justify VIOLENCE and the baby is Not to BLAME they are helpless and one day when we are old we will rely on their kindness to take care of us and look out for us, so just keep that in mind, they appreciate every SINGLE THING YOU DO FOR THEM, even though they might now be able to verbalize or demonstrate it yet.

I former co-worked from over 12 years ago just had twins a few months ago, and just like me she is a LOUD type A personality scorpio, and every time things get really rough for me, or say I drop my keys in the dark drive-way of my condo and I’m carrying Charles who is asleep heavier than ever in my arms and my bag and the diaper bag and a bunch of other shopping bags and I am tired and my knees hurt, I just think about her and I get this second wind to carry on and not curse out the world and my life.

This works for me, but perhaps for you, it’s hitting a punching bag at a boxing studio or playing tennis and hitting the ball as hard as you can. Whatever works, just DO IT! But don’t take it out on that little baby- that's your most precious asset and valuable possession.

As one of my single childless girlfriends says, who has never offered to babysit not once, just HANG-IN THERE!